First message examples that actually work in online dating

If you are frustrated about not getting replies online, there are quite a number of online dating first message examples that you can try out that can make someone reply. Who wants their messages to be ignored, right?

One advantage that online dating websites provide when approaching someone is time. You have the time to actually think about that message, write and rewrite it then send it. So there is no need to be in a rush. You need to make it count! You need to make it impressive. All we want is results!

Now, men often think that women are quite complicated. I believe women think men are too. But this shouldn’t make you give up on online dating. There is always something that works. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be hearing about all these online dating success stories.

Want your inbox full? Below are some of the online dating first message examples and tips you could employ.

1. 1. Go for what you have in common

This is by far the best ice-breaker. It is hard to resist someone you share an interest with. If you look at successful relationships, one phrase most couples use is: “We have a lot in common”. Whether it's traveling, skiing, horse-riding, a love for cooking… use that to your advantage.

Now you can’t get this info unless you read someone’s profile. So do that!

For instance:

“Looks like we both have a love for good food. What’s your poison? Spicy or Spicy? Mine is spicy all the way”

“Those horses must have so much love for you. What breed does it for you?”

With such messages, how can one resist?

2. 2. Send something funny


For some reason, a sense of humor almost always works for both men and women. It’s an attractive trait.

Try and make the joke specific to the person. Go through their profile and see what can work for him or her.

If you can’t coin your own look for a good GIF’s that can grab attention. But don’t send the sexual kind.

3. 3. Bond over a pet

Now when you find someone with a photo of a pet, that will be a great conversation starter. For example, “Look at that furry cute guy you got there”. I am sure the reply will be: “Are you a dog person too?”

People are known to bond over pets. Plus, pet lovers are usually very nurturing and loving people. Let that side of you come out.

4. 4. Mention something personal

People love to talk about themselves. If you want your message to hit the jackpot, ask someone a question that will make them talk about themselves. The thing with asking personal questions is that it shows that you are genuinely interested in knowing the person.

“Wow! A lecturer huh! How is it like imparting knowledge on those young souls?”

5. 5. Be creative

Sometimes all that you need to get creative is just reading someone’s profile and pick out something interesting about it. Don’t be the “Hey, how was your day” kind of person. Everyone is doing it. In fact, according to some surveys, people need to lose “Hey” as an online conversation opener.

Imagine the number of messages that fill up someone’s profile that are just a plain “Hey” or “Hey there”.

How about going with this…

“I couldn’t stop reading your profile after I saw that you love reading. Been wondering, what kind of books do you like? Would you care to share one that might interest me? I like the thriller kind”.

6. 6. Compliment someone


‘Wow! That smile of yours just got me grinning jaw to jaw”. The thing with complimenting women is NOT to make it look like you are objectifying someone. Compliment the skills they have or go easy by saying how their eyes light up the room. Don’t be “You are cute”. No. Be specific about it.

What do the above online dating first message examples have in common?

One thing for sure is that they capture interest. They make someone want to reply. And that is what we all want. A message that inspires a response.

See, once you get someone talking, the rest, you can figure out as you go along. Let your first message set you apart from the rest. Let it be a conversation starter.

One simple tip is to ask yourself, “would I reply to this message if I found it in my inbox?” If the answer is a “no” or a “maybe”, it’s probably better if you just looked up some and copy pasted. Apparently, that works too.

Another tip is timing. People are usually more relaxed in the evenings, especially between 9 and 10 pm. So if you are sending an instant message, this would be a great time to chat.

Let's hope the above online dating first message examples will get you the responses that you well deserve.